When letting go of disappointment, you live intuitively. Everything flows because you’re no longer attached to things being a certain way, to being a certain person or always being right. What a relief!
The irony is that when you feel stuck in any area of your life – career, relationships, purpose, health, or money – letting go can seem very hard. You cling on for dear life just at the moment you need to take a leap of faith.
The expectation that we have power over others only leads to disappointment.
We can feel disappointed when the circumstances, that we experience and have to deal with, feel “bigger” than we feel about ourselves.
We can only ever have true power over ourselves and other people or physical events. Except, to the extent that they are influenced by our actions and by what we say.
If you are relying, for your happiness, on others and the world, in general, to behave in a certain way, you will experience huge disappointment and disillusionment when this doesn’t happen.
Letting go
I remember a time back, years ago when my husband got a job offer that he could not resist. I had to stand back so he could fulfill his dream of working in another country. The job offer was in a country where I could not go with him, it was not safe for foreign women to live there.
At the time I was very happy for him but also at the same time my heart was aching. I knew that I would be alone at home trying to make a living for myself. It was very hard at the time. I felt like my husband had banded me, which was not true. But that is how I felt at the time. A feeling of being rejected and isolated and when one goes through something like that all sorts of emotional feelings come up out of nowhere.
I had to go through an emotional roller-coaster to get a wake-up call. I woke up one morning with this thought in my mind: happiness does not depend on someone else. It comes from inside a person. Realizing that no one is responsible for my happiness besides me, I picked myself up and took a good look in the mirror. If I continued my behavior, I would lose the plot.
I took good action steps to a better me
I needed to refocus myself and set out a good doable goal that was achievable in a certain timeline that I had set out for myself.
- It had to be something I would love to do for myself. For me it was to re-do my garden. Which was a lovely challenge for me.
- It had to make me really focused on the actions I needed to take to achieve the goal rather than on meeting the expectations of others.
- I had to break down my goal so that it can be manageable steps that don’t seem too overwhelming, and
- I had to look at the many talents, strengths and other resources that were already present in my life.
Once I had followed through with my Goal and complete it I was very proud of myself. I could see that life was worth it and I just needed to remind myself. I saw the flowers grow and blossom over time. The new garden attracted birds and bees. I watched birds making a nest in the tree close to my bedroom window. It was quite something to see. I was busy creating the new garden and the birds were building their new home. It was fun to see it. It brought such joy to me that I forgot all about my disappointment, feelings of rejection and had no more tears of sadness, only happy tears of laughter. I could let go – no more disappointment.
The solution may be as simple as making that change in your life. Set out a doable goal and make yourselves happy. Do some research, communicate with others, or do anything that will generate new ideas and increase your enthusiasm for achieving your goal.
It help me to be able to forget everything that was holding me back and to just let go. Let Go of the Thoughts that Keep You Stuck the most.
In Conclusion
I have tried to fix others/husband – it doesn’t work. We need to focus on what we don’t like, and what we do like for ourselves. On the other hand, if we focus on what we appreciate in other people it can transform our relationships.
I’m not talking about flattery. I’m talking about looking for what we appreciate in people and then focusing on that. It helps them feel good about themselves, and it makes you feel better about yourself.
Especially if you tend to blame everyone else for your life not being the way you want it to be.
Do you need help dealing with disappointment? Contact Cora for a consultation.